France Tales » Moving to France

Converting grill from the US to work in France

Owen — Mon, 31 May 2010 15:25:13 +0000

Do you have a grill you brought from the US to France? Are you wondering if you can convert it to be used in France? I wrote an old post about it here, but now have some photos to go along with it. I have gotten lots of mail in recent weeks from readers who are attempting to do the same, are afraid to try it, or do not know where to begin. I make no guarantees, but it works for me. I know nothing about how much pressure should flow in a French grill vs an American grill. I barely know what kind of fuel is used in a French grill. All I know is that I broke the law when I converted my US grill to work in France, but I have been BBQing on my terrace for over a year with no problems..

To use a gas grill from the US in France is a very simple task, although I don’t guarantee anything. I bought a Weber grill in the US and when I moved to France I wanted to convert my US gas grill to use in France. When I went to the hardware store to explain my situation I was discouraged and told what I wanted to do was illegal. I guess they thought that would dissuade me, but that more than encouraged me to try it out.

The rubber tubing that runs between the grill and the gas tank is the wrong size. I just purchased a new correctly sized one. Then I bought silver clamps with screws and screwed them on tight so there would be no leaks.

When I purchased my tank of butane I think not propane, the regulator came with the tank. I just connected the regulator to the rubber tubing, then it latched on to the tank. There is an emergency shut off valve so I was not worried about explosions.

I have been using it for 1 year with no problems. I always turn the gas off manually when I am not using the grill, but I did this in the US too.

I think that is all there is to using a gas grill from the US in France.

Do you have any more gas grill hacks like this in France? Share them in the comments.

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Moving to France: 7 Things NOT to do!

Owen — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 09:47:35 +0000

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Are you considering moving to France? Moving to France is a big step and should not be taken lightly, as I did it. Do not worry, I am here to show you the folly of my ways, in order that you can move to France with far fewer headaches and errors. Well you will make your own errors but at least you won’t make mine.

Moving to France: 7 things not to do

Do not move to France without a plan. France is not the economic opportunity capital of the world so do not come thinking that something will work out, it will not. Expats can make a good life here, but you must come with a plan, the plan may change or morph into something else, but have something to start working on right away.
Do not move to France without thinking about how you will learn French. France is full of expats and English speakers so it is easy to come, get stuck hanging out with only English speakers, and then get trapped not speaking French and having reduced opportunities. Learning French can be fun, make a plan for it or it will never happen though.
Do not move to France just for the healthcare system. Securité Sociale is great but if it is at the expense of having a job where you earn enough to live and play, was the tradeoff worth it? Full time blogging AND medical benefits is great but when you cannot go out to the many cultural events, restaurants, and museums that France offers, you will spend your time in your apt blogging, you might as well live in Kansas to do that, it would be cheaper.
Do not move to France for French food. You will get tired of it. The French don’t eat fois gras, magret, and cassoulet every day and neither should you! BUT having access to fresh produce in markets throughout every city, town, and region in France is an excellent reason!
Do not move to France to go to the public universities! This will require a series of posts detailing my painful experience but trust me it is not worth it, UNLESS you are trying for citizenship by doing 2 years of graduate work, another post to come later. The universities are cheap but of little value, if you have attended a Western university (technically France is in the West but its universities are in the dark ages) you will not like it, les grandes écoles are different though, but as a foreigner you will probably not get accepted anyway so give up now!
Do not move to France to spice up your relationship, you may find you don’t like the taste, and you may need years to recover.
Do not move to France because you are bored in your country and don’t know what to do. You are not given a magic wand or a bottle with a genie inside at customs so you will be bored here too and worse isolated so it will be even harder to get something started. All of this brings me back to the first point, Do not move to France without a plan!

Wow a year in a French university and I learned iteration, we have entered the loop. If you move to France for any of these foolish reasons you will get caught in an eternal looping iteration and will get stuck. Living in France can be great but it requires the same skills and efforts as wherever you came from. Hone those skills first, then consider moving to France.

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I received my new carte de sejour!

Owen — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 22:30:00 +0000

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I am once again legal to live and work in France for another year. I am set until December of 2009. This time around I worried a bit because I was changing my statute. It was quite easy and painless. This time there were no special circumstances and I could provide all the things they asked for, plus about 25 more pieces of paper they didn’t ask for, but seemed quite content to add to my dossier. this picture was too dark to use however.

It is not very pleasant to benefit from racism but that is exactly what happened to me. I think the 10 people ahead of me were from various points all over North Africa. Each one of them was missing one or more documents and had even more amusing stories to tell about why their dossiers were not complete, amusing to them but not to the poor civil servant who had to endure these “amusing” stories all day long. When she saw me, my pile of papers, and did not have to listen to some story about how my passport had been destroyed in an unfortunate tagine accident involving mint, I think she decided I would get my carte de sejour, even if my name were Osama bin Laden, which it isn’t.

So here I am getting ready to apply for my French drivers license. Guess what, my last license came from PA which has full reciprocity with France so all I have to do is apply, no École for me, and I will get both my motorcycle and car licenses. Not that I plan to drive too much but it’s nice to rub it in the faces of those of you who have to endure French driving school. I have had my share of bad news lately so sorry to gloat!

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Tips for moving to and living in France

Owen — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 13:03:36 +0000

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I never set out to write a blog just about tips for moving to France and I certainly never thought I’d know enough to give advice about how to live in France. Well, as I was looking over my archives, I found that I had, in fact, gained a lot of insights into both moving to France and living in France. I sometimes get emails from people asking for advice on getting a VISA, carte de sejour, how to begin learning French, etc and I find that now I know pretty confidently the answers. Here is a list of posts that I think can offer significant help to someone who wishes to move to France or live in France.

http://francetales.com/2008/03/17/a-great-tip-for-dealing-with-french-fonctionairres/

http://francetales.com/2008/02/01/using-credit-cards-in-europe/

http://francetales.com/2008/01/09/more-practical-info-about-france/

http://francetales.com/2008/01/08/americans-in-toulouse/

http://francetales.com/2007/12/23/carte-de-sejour/

http://francetales.com/2007/10/09/more-observations-in-france/

http://francetales.com/2007/09/27/visa-received-day-of-pain-over/

Some of these could be re-written now that I have the benefit of hindsight, but many still contain accurate info. What else would be useful to write about?

Additional recent updates
Living in France costs less than living in the UK though the euro’s strength against the pound. Buying property in France can cost a fraction of a home in the UK… of course the location; distance from the main cities and popular locations such as Paris, Toulouse, Lyon and Nice matters a lot. In France, beautiful homes can be bought at a very less price.

Cost of living here is low compared to other European nations. The cost of food and drinks in France is significantly lower, but as Paris is the hub of world fashion, clothes are expensive. Education and college grants are given by the government. The telephone and internet services are fabulous here, which facilitate international calling and communication network.

These are the basic things that affect your cost of living in France. Certainly there are many other factors which should be taken into consideration while calculating your cost of living.

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More practical info about France

Owen — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 21:40:01 +0000

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I have been getting emails saying readers enjoy the blog but were expecting more practical info about moving to France, living in France, and coping in France. I would like to cover these issues but in a funny and narrative way. I have no interest in writing some purely informational blog. I am going to try to include very practical info. For those of you who already live in France and have gone through what I try to describe please feel free to chime in. Even put a link to your blog if you cover similar issues, it’s fine, I’m all for the free flow of info.Some topics I would like to cover:

Student VISA’s
Opening a bank account
Getting a phone, TV, internet provider (Free, Orange, Neuf, Club Internet, Numericable)
Toulouse History
Unique things about Toulouse
funny offbeat things

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Carte de Sejour

Owen — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 09:06:12 +0000

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After the horrible experience I had getting my student VISA in DC, read about it here, I was dreading applying for my carte de sejour. A carte de sejour is a residency permit in France. Basically you have to get a VISA that allows you to stay in France for a period of time. Then you can go get a carte de sejour, this is the equivalent of an ID card. It also can entitle you to health insurance, a work permit, etc.

Well you can imagine with all the talk of the French fonctionnairres how frustrating it could be and the complications of the matter, did I say it might be complicated. Well for us it could have been extra complicated because we were staying with a friend in one department and eventually going to move to Toulosue which is in another department. Finding an apt can take a while so we weren’t sure if we should apply while in the department we were living in even though we had no intention of staying long term.

I thought of getting my carte de sejour in 24 and then changing my address when I landed in Toulouse, 31. I needed a justificatif de domicile. My friend could simply write an attestation saying that I lived with him etc in the 24. Well, we found an apt sooner than we thought we would in Toulouse so I decided not to apply for the CDS in the 24 and wait until we got to Toulouse. Well then I remembered that I was supposed to apply for it within 60 days of entering France, it was close for me but I still went over the time limit.

We had moved into our apt in Toulouse and started getting set up. We took a day to get my birth certificate translated and all the other things you must do to make your papers acceptable to the French, I thought of dusting them with truffle shavings, but that might be over the top.

It was 66 days after entering France that I was going to apply for my CDS. I thought they are going to give me a big problem over this. I am also not your typical student so that will be a problem too. Apparently in France you are only a student if you are under 26 years old. All discounts offered to students can only be redeemed if you have a student ID and are 26 or under. What do they consider those of us who go back to school and are over 26, lost? We went to the prefecture anyway, Bon courage, never bon chance.

We waited about 30 minutes in line at the Prefecture. When I got to the info counter they said of you are a student you need to go here. She said it as though I would be relieved not to have to stand in line with the lumpen. I thought, great they have a special office just for students. We went there and it was a much shorter line, only students, fonctionnairres that only handled one type of VISA, everyone was in the same boat so you could exchange tips if need be. I spoke to the info woman and she said I could wait since I didn’t have an appointment but since it was in the afternoon it might be best to come back the next day at 9AM. No one had stolen her baguette, she had normal facial expressions, no indignation, and if I am not mistaken, she even smiled.

9AM the next day I went to the office, I think it was called CROUS. I used to think Americans loved their acronyms but the French are big fans of them too. Since I don’t speak French very well I am never sure if a sign on a door that is written in capital letters is the name of the organization or an acronym. I prefer to make up my own meanings for the acronyms, my French ones make little sense so I do it in English. CROUS, Committee for Rescuing Overburdoned University Students. They should have a tagline We like you so much we’ll even give you healthcare.
I had no appointment so I waited. I kept seeing people leave and overhearing their conversations. They had forgotten this paper or that paper or didn’t think this or that was important and certainly it didn’t need to be brought to the appointment. This was clearly an affliction of non-American origins. I had every paper required, even some not required, and I made extra copies of all of them. About 10:15 I was seen. I had everything on the list. She even laughed because I had 2 copies of everything, I thought just in case. I think she was relieved because when she asked for each item I gave her each item. No questions asked, no problems, within 4 minutes I had my recipisse, a receipt that says I have given all my documents am now just waiting to receive my real CDS. In another week or so I expect to have my CDS.

For 2 months I have been agonizing over this and in fact it was quite a simple process. I think the VISA was much more complicated. Since I had such a terrible experience getting my VISA I assumed the same would be true of my Carte de Sejour and it was not. I am legal, for about a year, and then the process starts all over again, agonies and all.
Jean-Jacques and I are PACSED and he is French but that still doesn’t qualify me for anything. If we were married I could get a VISA for the spouse of a French national and I would be able to be here with no problems. So much for liberte, egalite, and fraternite.

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Things are crazy right now.

Owen — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 11:53:31 +0000

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We have an apt in Toulouse and we have “moved” in. There are several long stories contained within this narrative. they will become posts but for now we don’t even have the internet. I am at a McDonalds, of all places, accessing the internet for free. It is unlimited and free. We don’t know the free spots yet. I can’t believe how busy it is. Of course the food is disgusting but it is also expensive. You can get a menu du midi with an entree, plat, and dessert fro the same price as a Big Mac meal here. With such good food around I can’t beleive how many French people are eating here at lunch time.

We get the internet and a phone in about 2 more weeks.

We get gas next week, that means no hot water right now. We heat water for a shower in an electric tea kettle and combine it with cold water to make warm water to wash. Worse than camping.

We have electricity so the one burner on the stove that is electric works.

It is a cusine non-equipee so we had to buy a stove, refrigerator, washing machine, and microwave.

The elevator is small so about 5 things didn’t fit in the elevator so we enlisted the help of a mover and he and I had to move those things up 8 flight of spiralling steps. It was not fun. The weather managed to be warm too so it was hot doing it.

The fuse in our transformer blew so we are having a hard time with our devices with US plugs.

It will all settle down soon but right now very little posting and very little communication because we are a little isolated.

You can call us on our cell phones.

To the people we know in Toulouse we are here now and would love to see you.

On the positive side, we are on the 7th floor with a terrace and a balcony. We have more outside space than I thought we would have. We also have lots of light. When things settle down I’ll post somepictures and hopefully some funny stories, like piano moving at 2:30 AM until 6 AM from Toulouse to Le Buisson de Cadouin. We can laugh now.

Send us an email or call us. We can check email every 2 days or so, so if it is urgent just call us.

Ciao.

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Fear of Flying

Owen — Sun, 30 Sep 2007 20:02:00 +0000

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Our flight to France was at 6:55PM. Agnes picked us up at 3:30 and off we went. We had a lot of anxiety about this flight. We were moving to France so we had Jozi, our cat, and Kika, our dog with us. We went through an ordeal just to prepare for the trip. Pets had to be micro chipped, certificates of health gotten by USDA approved vets, vaccines updated, rabies, sleeping pills gotten, new cages for travel, etc etc etc. We had heard stories of conflicting requirements between Air France and French Customs. We wanted to believe we were prepared but were unsure.

We arrived at the airport in plenty of time. Sedatives given, to the pets I mean. We waited in a short line to check in. We went to the security check point and were through in less than 15 minutes. That’s the least painful arrival I have been to in years. I had emptied all our change in our house into my pocket since we were moving to France. We ate in the airport and our bill was $17.86 and Ihad exactly $12.86 in change so I just gave a 5 with it. Perfect, no more change jangling. Exact change.

We waited for the plane, boarded, had a slight delay on the tarmac, and then took off. The flight had very little turbulence so we had few worries about the pets who were in the hold, not with us but not with the baggage. It is a pressurized room. There were movies on demand on the flight, we both started to watch one, and then fell asleep. We slept nearly the whole way. About an hour before arrival we had one more paper for the pets to fill out, a French translation of the certificates of health. It was complicated and didn’t match the English forms exactly but we filled it out as completely as possible. After my VISA experience and stories from the vets were started to worry.

We got off the plane, went through customs, no questions asked, waited maybe 10 minutes to get our luggage, we asked where pets come out, walked over to wait, 2 minutes later the cages were put out of the room, we picked them up, no one asked to see our papers, no bags searched, no one asked for out pet tickets to verify they were in fact ours, went to the car rental counter, our reservation was found, we were given the keys to a car, and off we went. I don’t think we were in the airport more than 30 minutes. I have never been through an airport so quickly, even before 9/11. I am still astounded at how quickly, easily, and without problem our travel was.

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VISA received, day of pain over!

Owen — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 12:22:00 +0000

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Didn’t she know? I mean I didn’t believe it when I was first told about it but I’m starting to believe now. The signs were right there. How could she not know? She’s too young. If you scrunch up your face like that, and hold it for hours on end in the same position, as if someone stole your baguette last year and you’re still upset, your face is going to freeze in that position. Yes, it even happens to French civil servants. Get a new baguette, it’s time.

I had my VISA appointment in DC yesterday. I was very apprehensive. My case was a slightly special case, the documents needed were not so cut and dry, I was going by myself and only speaking in English, I was asking for a student VISA but I was not part of an exchange program, the list goes on and on. I had lots of documentation but was feeling unsure of myself.

I got up at 6AM and left my home in Philadelphia at 7AM. My appointment was at 12:10 but I had to go to Campus France before the VISA department. Campus France is right next door but I had no idea how long it would take so in order to avoid as much traffic as possible and give myself plenty of time, I left early, DC is only 3 hours away.

Campus France is an organization the French government set up to make it “easier” for people outside of France to come to France to study at the University level. Of course, if you only read the general requirements for VISA’s and the Student VISA requirements, you wouldn’t know registering with them is a requirement for your VISA, I didn’t know this until last week. The French officials didn’t think it was necessary to put this requirement on the list. I guess it justifies their sneers when in mid-VISA appointment you have to leave their office to go to Campus France and then come back with the proper documentation. We’ll call it the “stolen baguette sneer” or sbs for short.

Just before I left I reviewed my papers, downloaded a few backup papers, and checked my profile on the Consulate website. You can view your appointments, past, present, and cancelled. I was having trouble connecting but then it looked like I was connected. I authenticated and there were no appointments in my profile. I didn’t worry because I also didn’t see the 2 appointments that I had previously had that I canceled and also because some of the functions were obviously not working. I thought something was amiss on their end as I packed my laptop and headed for the car.

Traffic was great, there was very little. The ride was very uneventful. I was arriving to DC quite a bit early. I was exiting the 495 at Wisconsin Avenue and I had an idea. Charlotte and Charles live just off Wisconsin Ave in Chevy Chase or Bethesda. I thought I’d call them and see if they were around. I know their house was rebuilt and that they were able to live there again, but I wasn’t sure they were there. I thought a nice 20 minute stop to catch up would be great and I could also get news about Juliet and updated contact info. I pulled over into a gas station because I wasn’t sure what Maryland’s cell phone laws were. No answer, my little daydream was not to be. I pressed onward.

Traffic in DC, however, was a nightmare. It took me almost 45 minutes to get from the off ramp to M and Wisconsin, I think it is only about 6 miles or so. I was still early but I was showing signs of sbs, remember “stolen baguette sneer”, no better yet, “Stolen Baguette Syndrome”. I stopped for a coffee in Georgetown and gather myself before heading up to the Embassy, it was only ½ mile away.

So I park on Reservoir Road a block down from the Embassy, in front of what I think was actually Jack and Eloise’s house – that’s another story – possibly involving SBS and a crazy mother. I’m walking toward the gate, it’s a fortress by the way, and my heart is racing. I step through the pedestrian gate and approach the pentagonal security booth. The guard asked for my ID and purpose of visit, I gave him my ID and said I had a VISA appointment but I had to visit the offices of Campus France beforehand. He checked his printout for my name. Now he didn’t hold the clipboard up officially so I could see the names and on the last page were the last few appointments, they only do appointments until 12:30, and I could see it was full and my name was NOT on the list. I have a bad habit over listening to conversations that are not my own and sneaking a glance at papers that are not my own. My name was not there. Who put this bowling ball in my throat, get it out quick.

He said that he wasn’t finding my name and he couldn’t let me in. I was stunned into silence. Bon courage is right, forget bon chance. Steeling myself and my nerves, I asked him to check again because I was sure I had an appointment, was there someone he could call, etc. No appointment, no luck. I told him that I had definitely made an appointment and perhaps, peut etre, I had written down the wrong day. Could he call the VISA office to see if my appointment was just on another day or if I had missed it? If I had to come back I at least wanted to know when appointment was, because I definitely scheduled one. He gave me a number to call as a line formed behind me and sweat beads went from a trickle to a river running down my back. How could I have no appointment? My faith in technology was eroding. I know I submitted the request online for an appointment.

I called the number, she answered in French, I spoke in English. So too did she eventually. I’m sorry sir you have no appointment, there is nothing I can do. She hung up on me. I called back and she said Please Sir we are very busy and again hung up. I was paralyzed by fear. Our plane leaves on Friday, our container was packed and shipped, I had no idea what to do. A woman who was waiting in line, who was apparently not afraid of the sweaty American, came over and told me to go across the street to the Georgetown University library and go online and try to log in to my account and sort it out etc. Maybe I could make an appointment for today or tomorrow. I headed across the street.

On my way up the steps, I thought, most Universities have wireless networks, I have my laptop, why don’t I just sit outside and try it. Wireless signal found, connection made. I checked my email for the confirmation email about my appointment, I couldn’t find it. I did just receive an email from Campus France telling me that my online profile for them was complete, technology was regaining some credibility. Nice of them to let me know so far in advance, I emailed them a week ago, no time for indignation – or SBS on my part, I was in a situation.

I logged in to my Consular account and no luck again. No cancelled appointments either. This was strange because I did have the confirmation emails about the cancelled appointments so they should have at least shown up as cancelled, but they didn’t. Maybe I could leverage this into showing there was a problem with their system and since I was here could I have an appointment. It sounded reasonable but I knew it wouldn’t work.

I called Jean-Jacques to tell him everything that had happened. I asked him if he could call the number I was given and speak to them in French, not really thinking it would change anything. He also suggested we call a man named Mr. Billet whom we had emailed and spoken to before about VISA matters. I didn’t have the number but he said he’d find it. He told me he’d call right back. I expected it to be at least 10-15 minutes. In probably about 3 minutes Jean-Jacques called back, had spoken to Mr. Billet, and convinced him to add me to his appointments. He would call the guard at the gate and put my name on the list. I was relieved, if only my sweat glands could be relieved in the same manner.

I hate to think like this but I have a hunch that because I was speaking in English they were not willing to be helpful and were in fact rude to me. There was clearly a problem but they were not willing to work with me. The daily indignities of being an American. Maybe it is because Jean-Jacques is more charming than I am.

I approached the gate and the guard, who had been the nicest of the bunch, who was expecting me, apologized to me, which made me uncomfortable because he had done nothing wrong, and let me in. My anxiety level dropped a few notches. I walked up the hill toward Building B, everything in DC is named like that Building G in the campus of the National Institutes of Health. It’s like alphabet soup, don’t they get confused?

I saw Building B and entered. As I walked through another “guard” was there and saw my VISA lanyard attached to my shirt. He said VISA’s are next door and tried to whisk me out of the building. I said I had to meet with Campus France first then I could go to my VISA appointment. He said no that I had to get my VISA first and then go to Campus France. Mais Monsieur, j’ai un courriel, and I showed him my email that Campus France said I had to go there first. I was afraid to have contradicted him and what his reaction was going to be but I had just gotten in to the hyper (PRONOUNCED EE PEAR) secret French Embassy, I wasn’t going to let a guard deter my VISA plans. He let me stay while he called Campus France.

Not long after, a very nice woman appeared and sat with me in the waiting area. She asked me my name and my confirmation number. I said I never received a confirmation number. Here we go again, but no she asked for my name kindly and said she’d look it up. Minutes later she returned to report she could not find my profile. Again I was ready. I had just checked my email and saw the email from her colleague saying that my profile was in fact complete. I showed it to her and she looked surprised but she knew I was telling the truth. She showed NO signs of SBS so I didn’t fear showing her the email. She contacted the colleague who assured her my profile was complete. They couldn’t find my confirmation number either so she asked how I paid. I said I had my money order now to pay. Of course, that’s why there was no confirmation number, because I hadn’t paid yet. She took my money order and printed a receipt for me. She said when I have my VISA appointment and they ask for my Campus France number to give them this paper, it verified I was signed up and my profile was complete but since I just paid, the account wasn’t fully set up and the VISA office probably wouldn’t be able to search for it because it would be an hour before it got entered. Appointment finished. Armed with my “paper” I advanced toward the VISA room in, of course, Building B as well.

I walked in the VISA section and there were 2 people ahead of me, no one looked to be frazzled, and everything was calm. I thought, I can do this. Of course I was “overhearing” conversations again. Where do I get this from? The man at the counter was Chinese, lived in Philadelphia, was leaving Friday, and did not have all his documents. He was going to have to come back and he left on the same day as us. The man at the counter was so nice and kind to them. I was instantly put at ease. Then he disappeared with the documents into what I guess is the secret VISA room, the command center. The Chinese man and his family took a seat in the waiting area. Then she appeared.

She called the next person in line up to the counter. She fought back smiles and any outward signs of softness. This was a fonctionnaire, and a proud one at that. Were we outside, there would have been grey clouds scurrying after her. Her face was unmistakable. It was classic stolen baguette syndrome. It was 12:15, almost lunchtime, so she really must have been angry about the missing baguette. I ran my hands through my pockets and bags just in case I left a baguette somewhere so I can donate it to her cause. Of course I was “overhearing” her conversation and it seemed to be going fine. Never judge a book by its cover, she was begging to be judged though. She was not as kind as the other man but seemed not to be too difficult with the woman ahead of me so I wasn’t worried yet. Next, she said. My turn.

Bon Jour, hello, mistake #1. Should I have answered bon jour first and then spoken in English? Judging by her facial expressions I should have killed myself then and there to allow her to search out a baguette.

Your 2 applications and your pictures. I placed the 2 applications on the counter. Where are your pictures sir? They are attached to my applications. Sternly she replied, you are not supposed to do that! I said I’m sorry but here it says to glue the pictures to the bottom right corner of the application. I thought to myself, they even put a box made of dotted lines to show the exact position where they go. She inhaled deeply and as she exhaled she raised her left hand to her forehead. Left thumb rested on her temple, the other fingers cascaded down her forehead toward her right eye. I’ve heard of going postal, can one go VISAal? Her silence seemed an eternity, but she looked up, shook her head, and I knew she would suffer from acute SBS for the rest of our appointment.

There was a long list of required documents that I had in my folder. One was the English translation of the VISA application. I asked her if she needed that now. She looked at me imperiously and grunted, I know how to read the document in French thank you. Did she really think I was offering it to her to help her. Is this not a required document? She inhaled deeply and as she exhaled she raised her left hand to her forehead. Left thumb rested on her temple, the other fingers cascaded down her forehead toward her right eye. I hae to name this maneuver because she would use it over and over for the rest of the appointment. Including the desperate head shake. I will call it the Scanners maneuver. Do you remember the movie Scanners directed by David Cronenberg? In it a professor is giving a lecture and during the lecture he grabs his head as if in intense pain and then his head explodes. Very 80’s. That is what her movements reminded me of.

Your financial guarantee please. I placed on the counter my last 3 months of bank statements. Sir I need a letter from your parents stating you will receive an allowance of $600 per month. I said I had an email, and showed it to her, that said since I am an adult I did not need that. I had to show I would have an income while in France independently of work. My bank account shows 3 transactions per month where our tenants make deposits for their rent and our promissory note gets paid as well. It totals over $2000 a month. The Scanners maneuver coupled with a slight groan.

Sir, this is a bank statement printed by a computer printer. I cannot accept this. Well I said it is an internet only account and my statements are emailed to me to save paper and postage. This is the only way to show you a statement that shows the income in the form of deposits. I waited for SBS or Scanners and instead she said this will have to do.

Confirmation from Campus France that your application is complete. I handed it over to her. Sir what is your account number at Campus France. I explained they said just to give her this paper because I had just paid and I wouldn’t be in the system yet by number. Wow, Scanners and SBS. What’s next the figure four leg lock?

The trouble is after she looked up again she said nothing and acted like this was causing her excruciating pain. I asked would she like me to go back to Campus France and try to get a number. She said no that she would prefer that people applying for VISA’s simply had all their documentation together.

I could tell the entire rest of the appointment was going to go like this. If I allowed myself to be baited into an argument over whose fault or why I didn’t have the documents she would gladly engage and feel justified in treating me this way. I was not going to engage her BUT I was going to show her the steady stream of emails I received from her office that contradicted each other and made it impossible to gather.

In this email your office states that I can go to Campus France before coming to the appointment to get set up. I did that. They sent me here with this confirmation letter. Your email says to bring this confirmation letter to the appointment. I did that. What should I have done differently?

I cannot access your Campus France account so we cannot continue. I asked if she could look it up by name. SBS again. She tried by name. She said you are not in the system. I said I know I am in the system because I can log in myself, I just did it this morning. She tried again and said she couldn’t. A thought emerged in my head, a terrifyingly scary thought, I had no idea how to bring it up, she would probably reach across the counter and strike me if I say it in the wrong way. Think hard. How to say this without ruffling her feathers.

My last name is spelled P-E-E-R-Y, it’s unusual so often it gets misspelled. Thank god there was a big glass window between she and I because those daggers she shot with her eyes would have certainly impaled me.

Sir, I can also read perfectly in English too, she retorted. Arms crossed, this was a new look, one she should reconsider, but one she sported nonetheless. It was unfortunate.

I am not insulting you. For 36 years of my life my name has been misspelled. 95% of the time when a file cannot be found or an account cannot be accessed it is because someone misspelled my name. Maybe it was Campus France entering the data, maybe it was you, maybe it was someone somewhere in the system. What I am proposing is that you try PERRY and PEERY and see what comes up. She typed in PERRY, although she was unaware I saw what she typed. She indignantly said, see it still doesn’t come up. I said as kindly as I could, could you try PEERY now. Scanners, SBS, and the daggers again. BUT she tried it and it worked.

Was that slight embarrassment? Was she cracking? I don’t know why but it worked now she said. I see your account and it is in fact complete. I don’t know why it works now, she said. I thought it works because you finally spelled my name correctly, vous êtes un imbecile. No small victory would embolden me to make flippant remarks to satisfy some need for retaliation. I simply wanted my VISA. I was close and I was determined. I smiled through pursed lips.

Your PACS papers please. I didn’t realize PACS papers were required for a Student VISA. She said we are issuing you a special VISA since you cannot go as the spouse of a French national. I said I was not aware that I was being issued a special VISA. I said I was simply applying for a student VISA and I didn’t bring my PACS papers. It said in the email we sent. I said but after that I concluded with the help of your office that going as a student would be easier than going on a long stay non work VISA. This is where it got tricky. I wasn’t sure if they were unable to say they were issuing me a VISA this way because they thought it was unfair the VISA law regarding gay couples and the PACS but they were going to do it anyway or whether she wanted me to feel like she was going out of her way to do something special for me or she derived some pleasure out of making me squirm or she was plainly homophobic. Or they didn’t believe I was going to be a student. I still don’t know but this was the most intense part.

Your letter from the school in France where you will attend and a letter from the American University where you are doing the exchange program. I am not doing this through an exchange program, I am undertaking it on my own. Sir, that is not possible. According to Campus France it is possible, I just have to pay $120 to Campus France not just $60, isn’t it in my account profile? SBS rears its ugly head. I see it is right here.

When do your classes start? I said they begin in January, it is in the letter from the school. I cannot issue you a VISA today for classes that don’t start until January. I said I would start my classes sooner but we are staying with a friend and wanted enough time to find an apartment. If we got settled sooner I cold start my classes sooner but I wanted to give myself enough time to get set up. The Scanners.

When is the last date of your studies? I don’t know exactly. She incredulously looked at me like I was now caught in a lie. How can you not know when your last date of classes is. I explained that I was taking classes at the Alliance Française in Toulouse. I registered for Jan, Feb, and March of 2008. I couldn’t register for more because they hadn’t even organized classes that far into the future. I would register as soon as I could but it was not available for registration yet.

I need a date to put down as the last date of classes. I said I didn’t know what to say but I was hoping to apply for a 1 year student VISA. Next year I was going to apply to graduate school in France so I figured I’d have to renew my student VISA so I suggested she use July 31st as the last day of validity. She dropped everything on the counter, stared directly into my eyes for about 2 minutes, said nothing. It appeared that she was saying I hope I am not here when you apply next year, to which I would have said send me a schedule and I will make sure to work around it.

Shaking her head broke the silence symbolically. She said we’re all set then. I asked if she needed any of the other papers listed as requirements on the website that I had gathered. With a wave of her hand I understood she needed no such thing. She marched into the command room.

At this point I came to realize that maybe these were nervous ticks. Scanners, SBS, the daggers. It seemed that for each and every requirement she displayed one, two, or all three of these tricks. Each time insinuating that I was grossly under prepared for what I was asking BUT then again each requirement got checked off the list. She probably has high blood pressure now. Literally every requirement necessitated a nasty comment from her, a groan, SBS-daggers-Scanners, etc. In the end each piece of documentation turned out to be enough and in the end I got my VISA.

Many people thought I was over reacting to my VISA appointment. I too believed them but felt it was better to be unsure than over confident. In the end it was worse than I imagined, but I got my VISA. I guess it was a good preparation for how it will be with bureaucracy in France. As my French skills increase I will be able to conduct such appointments entirely in French, I hope that makes them less unpleasant experiences.

I was so frazzled by the time I left the office with my VISA I was ready to tear it up and move back to California instead.

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Just when I thought I had it all covered

Owen — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 17:26:00 +0000

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I re-read the requirements for the VISA. I guess since most people go on a student VISA as a regular university student through and exchange program the info is geared toward them. Ok, I get it, I’m used to being an outsider. But try to get a definitive answer out of someone. Anyone care to comment on what this means?

If your parents are going to pay for your expenses in France : a financial guarantee such as a notarized statement certifying that the applicant will be provided with a monthly allowance of $ 600 for the duration of his/her stay in France, or a proof of personal income along with a letter from school stating that room, board, and tuition are fully prepaid . If the host provides the student with a letter certifying that lodging will be free of charge, and provide a copy of his/her pictured I.D., an allowance of $ 300 will be accepted.

I can prove an income of $2000 per month and no my parents aren’t paying a thing as I’m grown. I simply need to know if I need a letter from our friend Copper, whom we are staying with, saying that his address is my address. Seems like a simple yes or know would do it, mais non! Mon Dieux! Ca c’est envraisenblable(I have no idea how to spell it but I know it when I hear it) Do I need proof of my address, yes or no?

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